shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
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