You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
