my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
