break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
