Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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