and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
