You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
