Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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