do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What a dumb baby whore.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
