she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Green mimosas i think yes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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