doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
