I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
