i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
