Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
