Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
