Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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