I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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