forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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