I wanna passion pit in your ass
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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