Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
