Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
