Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
