Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
