How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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