Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
