I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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