so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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