Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
