Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
