The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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