You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
