if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
