I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
