Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
