So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
