Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Small penises have feelings too.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
