Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
