my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
