Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
