You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
