I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
where does the pee come out of this thing
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
