You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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