Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
