I can tuck mytits in my pants
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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