I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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