He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
