Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
