last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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