I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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