until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She even gives head with a lisp.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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