What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
