Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
