I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
