is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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