I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
