Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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