you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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