it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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