If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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