Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
