youre lurking in front of me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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