similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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