Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
