new low.... made out with someone while peeing
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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