I got chris browned last night
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
