lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
