My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
