my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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